Love Languages

My girlfriend, Amy, has been reading this book about love languages. The idea is that every one craves a certain kind of attention and if the get it, their "love tank: is being filled. There are five "languages": gift giving, touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, and quality time. Quite often people feel empty because they aren't getting the right kind of affection. People usually speak their own language instead of realizing what the other person wants. I guess you are lucky if you both happen to like the same things! Heath and I were trying to figure out what ours were, but it was hard. I couldn't come up with one over the other that made me feel more loved, so I started thinking about how I make other people feel loved. The housework and cooking and "doing" things for people usually make me feel like I am loving them, so I guess mine would be acts of service. Heath thinks his is too, but I still don't feel a strong pull towards one or the other. "When your spouse's emotional love tank is full and he feels secure in your love, the whole world looks right and your spouse will move out to reach his highest potential in life. But when the love tank is empty and he feels used but not loved, the whole world looks dark and he will likely never reach his potential for good in the world." He also says that if a person has a hard time identifying their main love languages, they've either been on empty for so long and are out of touch with their needs, or they have been so filled up by their spouse, that all 5 languages tend to speak to them equally. So, I guess in my case, I am pretty filled up =)

Amy and I were also thinking that this would apply to anybody, not just your spouse. You could use this method to make anyone happy...including your children! We have been working on figuring out the kids' languages. Either I am not very good at this or they suffer from the same problem I do, because I couldn't come up with a distinct one! So for now, I am going to work on filling their "love tank" in all areas (I don't think it will be much work though, instinctively, I am pretty sure I already try to fill all these areas of their life!) and hopefully that will help them grow to be healthy, happy people.